Before you read this……….know that I am a wimp about scary movies and rarely watch them.
I am aware that there is a certain amount of campiness that all horror movies have. The Conjuring is no exception. It is campy right in the beginning. Thankfully, that helped calm my nerves and hope that it would just be silly throughout. It was, but I was still scared and covered my eyes through most of it.
The Conjuring throws around the typical scares. Creaking doors, slamming doors, whispering voices, figures in the windows, images in mirrors, animals acting crazy, things falling and breaking, etc. Then of course there are the stupid morons who don’t look at the scary movie clues.
Clue #1: The dog won’t go in the house. Therefore……..you shouldn’t either.
Clue #2: You wake up with unexplained bruises. Get out.
Clue #3: You find a creepy basement that was boarded up. Leave.
Clue #4: Birds start committing suicide. Don’t even pack your stuff, just wave goodbye.
But of course, a scary movie will not work without the stupid people. I understand that fear makes people do stupid things, but this is common sense. These characters follow the creepy noises into the dark and call out to it as if a puppy will spring out and want to play. Then there is the creepy basement with the creepy piano and the creepy stuff covered by creepy sheets…………..so naturally, everyone goes down there to check it out. The stupidity of these people continues………….with the clapping game. This concept is really great and would have been perfect had it not been for the moronic characters. If you hear a clapping noise in your house at night (of course everything happens at night) and KNOW that everyone is asleep and it MUST be someone else………….DO NOT FOLLOW THE NOISE AND CALL OUT TO IT! Grab a shotgun, wake everyone up, call the police and the ghostbusters, and sprint out of the house! But I guess if that happened, there would be no plot. So I get it.
Then there are the children. These are some brave children. Like most people, if I hear a noise when I am in bed, I play the freeze game. If I don’t move a muscle, I will be invisible. I stay under the covers and just hope it goes away. No………these girls get up, look under the bed, stare into the dark corner, stick their feet out of the covers (always a bad move), follow the noises, etc. I think I will stick with my freeze and close my eyes game.
I don’t believe in demons and possession and all that stuff. However, as soon as the first demon face girl showed up, I was done looking at the screen during the scary moments. According to my friend’s reactions to everything, it was a good decision.
The actors were all very convincing. Even Ron Livingston did a great job and fit well in that time period. Vera Farmiga proved she is great for horror films after doing Orphan. She has one of the best screams I’ve heard from an actress and she has a great look of terror. Lili Taylor had to do some crazy stuff for this role. She pretty much had to play two different characters……….and was very convincing. Let’s just say, I wouldn’t want to sit down and have tea with her any time soon.
Despite me being freaked out the whole time, this wasn’t a bad movie. It wasn’t THE BEST SCARY MOVIE EVER, but it was pretty good. It does what it is supposed to. It entertains. Whether you are scared out of your mind, or laughing at it, you will have a good time. When I wasn’t pissing my pants, I was laughing at my friend who was. When I wasn’t covering my eyes, I was making fun of the idiot characters. This was the first time in a while I actually paid for a movie, and it was worth it.
I may have slept with a few lights on last night…….